Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Let's All Play the Lame Game

As far as I can tell, dear friends, the people I know fall into five major categories:

(1) Family - this speaks for itself. Family is family and there's no way around it.

(2) Acquaintances - people I'm only familiar with due to repeated eye contact and/or our need to be in the same place at the same time. The people in my building that I say "hi" to every morning are acquaintances.

(3) Friends - "Friend" is a word I use to describe the people I have a fondness for, but whom I'm not especially close to. I may occasionally hang out with friends - going to a movie or a bar or whatever - but I probably wouldn't be standing in line to donate if they needed a kidney or something.

(4) Enemies and Irritants - without true enemies, you have no true friends. And speaking for myself, my list of enemies is so extensive that I've even broken it down into sub-categories: "Great and Worthy Opponents", "Ideological Opposites", "The Arch Nemesis", "Wastes of Human Flesh", etc.

And then of course, there's most of you - the people who take the time to read my blog even when I don't send out a reminder. Ah yes, glorious Category #5

(5) The People Who Are In On the Joke.

Category 5 people are a very special breed of friends that I really connect with -the ones who just kind of "get it" (whatever "it" might be.) And because those of you whom I hold closest to the soft, chocolate center of my little Tootsie Roll heart understand my need to have a little fun no matter what I'm doing, I'm sure you won't mind at all if I suggest that we all play a game together in honor of my birthday. Yes, for now let's leave the grown-ups in the other room to talk about gold mines, oil wells, shipping, and real estate. Right now it's just us. Now then, here's the game...
As you're well aware, my birthday is only a week away (7 days and counting). So, set your imagination free and let's see who can give me this year's lamest gift. Whether it's a VHS copy of "Gigli" or a Barney doll or, God forbid, a "Do the Urkel!" Board Game (yes, it does really exist), let's see who can really make me say "Oh, you shouldn't have!" Think of it as a scavenger hunt, kids. Go forth, save money, and see what you find. The winner will receive a full write-up here on my blog (hey, it's not much, but who doesn't like to see their name in print?)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

My gift is going to be da' worst! Let the LAME GAME begin!!

2:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

J, seriously, I thought my lame present would be worth at least a few words on the blog. Shit...what the f*#& does a girl have to do to get some love around here? Love/Hate, N aka N aka L aka "the- mother-of-your-childen-still-waitin'-on-that-child-support,-bitch"

11:07 PM  

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