#3 - Jared: Drunken King of Napalm Soccer

The reason I'm opening this blog with an image of Ghost Rider is because this is the image I most frequently associate with my boy Jared. Here's why...

Jared and I met sometime last year when we were both working part-time at Barnes & Noble. One night he and another co-worker of ours (a guy named Ashton) thumbed through a copy of The Anarchist Cookbook and came up with a plan to make napalm. But instead of using this napalm to go out and commit random acts of guerrilla terrorism, their big brilliant idea was to set a soccer ball on fire and then kick it around for a while. (Hopefully the Ghost Rider image is making more sense now.) Naturally I was invited to come along, and I was really looking forward to it...but it started raining like a son of a bitch before work was over. And thus our napalm soccer game was ruined. It was probably for the best.

I'm sure we'll get around to it sooner or later. But in the meantime I'll have to settle for Jared's frequent text messages that say stuff like: "People who drive drunk are fucking stupid. Not only do they get a DUI, they get an ass beating for totaling my car" and "I made u open ur phone 4 nothing. It's great having ur ass in check. Who's my bitch? UR my bitch!"...Jared is also the crowned prince of the drunk dial. (Keith is King.)

Next month Jared will be getting married to his girlfriend who's (in his own words) "a little pregnant." You have fun with that, Jared.