On Fire in the Men's Room

For those of you who haven't yet heard the now-notorious "bathroom story", I thought I'd go ahead and post it here on ye olde blog. This is my gift to all of you in honor of the weekend.

Okay, so I was at work the other day and noticed that the men's room was in need of a little cleaning. So, being the model employee that I am, I went to the supply closet, got the broom and dustpan, and got right to it. I didn't see any feet under any of the stalls, so I figured there was no harm in doing a little singing while performing my job duties. (What can I say? I'm a real "whistle while you work" kind of guy.) Now, understand that I wasn't HUMMING, and I wasn't MUMBLING...I was really SINGING Bruce Springsteen's "I'm On Fire."

Lo and behold, I get to the beginning of the third verse and suddenly I hear a toilet flush. What the hell? Then some guy comes walking out of the last stall with this "what the hell is your problem?", trying-not-to-laugh look. Talk about awkward. There was nothing I could do but stare at the floor and ease my way on outta there.

If you find this story funny, you might find it even funnier when you stop to realize that the lyrics of "I'm On Fire" are:

"Hey little girl is your daddy home
Did he go away and leave you all alone
I got a bad desire
I'm on fire

Tell me now baby is he good to you
Can he do to you the things that I do
I can take you higher
I'm on fire

Sometimes it's like someone took a knife baby
Edgy and dull and cut a six-inch valley
Through the middle of my soul

At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet
And a freight train running through the
Middle of my head
Only you can cool my desire
I'm on fire"

That poor guy must have thought I was setting him up for a good old-fashioned man-rape.

I told a couple of friends, and, as expected, the story soon spread like wildfire. Now it's a nice big running gag all over work. Such is the the story of my funny little life.