Wednesday, February 09, 2005

What I'm Giving Up for Lent

Okay, so I've been trying to think of something I can give up for Lent, and the whole thing has really put me in an interesting situation. You see, I'm far from perfect, but I don't really have a lot of what you'd call habits. I don't smoke. I rarely drink. I don't do any drugs. I'm not sexually promiscuous. I don't even eat very many sweets. (It's been months since I've had any chocolate, ice cream, or soft drinks.) Sooo...what could I give up that could really be called a sacrifice? What's the one thing I'd have a hard time doing without?
I sat and pondered this question for a while, and for a moment I thought it might be a good idea to give up coming to work. After all, I've been coming to work at Chaffe-McCall every day since July of 2003, which means I must really like it here. AND if the powers-that-be decided to fire me for missing so much work, I could always sue them for anti-religious discrimination. (I'm picturing Mel Gibson joining me outside on the pavement for a nationally televised kneel-in.) Sadly, though, there are too many obvious loopholes in that line of thinking. So, I sat and thought and pondered a little more...and that's when I came up with it: I'm giving up Parker Posey for Lent.
It may sound strange - even gratuitous or facetious - but I'm telling the God's honest truth. I'm giving up Parker Posey for Lent. I'm not going to watch any Parker Posey movies, visit any Parker Posey websites, use any pictures of Parker Posey as my computer wallpaper, or bid on any Parker Posey-related E-Bay auctions. In addition, I'm not going to quote any Parker Posey dialogue or even have any conversations ABOUT Parker Posey or the movies she's been in.
This amazing feat of self-denial may sound somewhat difficult given my very vocal obsession with Parker in recent months, but that's what makes it a sacrifice. And if Jesus can go 40 days in the desert without food or water, I can go 40 days without "The House of Yes". The way I see it, it can't be any worse than the Lent when I gave up cursing for all of 15 minutes...or that other Lent when I...well, let's not get into that. :)
Happy Ash Wednesday, everyone.


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